Practice Areas Divorce What is the First Thing I Should Do If I Want a Divorce in 2026?

What is the First Thing I Should Do If I Want a Divorce in 2026?

You’ve made a decision—or you’re seriously considering it. Divorce is one of life’s biggest transitions, affecting your finances, family relationships, and future. But where do you start? This guide breaks down the first steps in order, so you can take action with confidence and avoid costly mistakes. It’s especially important to speak with a divorce attorney as early as possible as you work through your decision.

Am I Sure About Divorce? (Decision Framework for Irretrievable Breakdown & Irreconcilable Differences)

Before you take any action, confirm this is really what you want. Divorce is permanent, expensive, and emotionally taxing. Making this decision in anger—rather than from a place of clarity—leads to regret and wasted money.

Ask yourself: Is this a temporary problem that counseling could fix, or has the marriage fundamentally broken down? Be honest. If you’re thinking about divorce in anger after a recent conflict, wait. Sleep on it. If the feeling persists after weeks of reflection, you may be ready.

Consider these questions:

– Have you attempted marriage counseling or couples therapy?
– Is this decision based on irretrievable breakdown, not just anger?
– Have you explored all options: therapy, separation, mediation?
– If children are involved, have you thought through custody implications?
– Are you making this decision calmly, not during conflict?
– Have you threatened divorce repeatedly? (This signals your spouse to protect their interests)
– Does taking time to decide feel right, or are you delaying the inevitable?

5 Signs You’re Ready for Divorce:

1. Decision made calmly after months of reflection, not during conflict
2. You’ve explored counseling or professional help first
3. You understand the financial and emotional costs
4. You’re prepared for the legal process and timeline
5. Your decision is final, not a threat or negotiating tactic

If you’ve answered these honestly and divorce still feels right, proceed to Step 1.

Read about the top 10 reasons couples divorce in Michigan. 

Should I Consult a Divorce Attorney First? (Why Divorce Lawyer Consultation Precedes All Other Steps)

Before you tell your spouse. Before you gather documents. Before anything else, consult a divorce attorney.

This is the single most important first step. An attorney explains your jurisdiction’s specific laws, your rights, potential outcomes, and what to expect. This consultation clarifies your path forward and prevents costly mistakes.

Why Should I Consult an Attorney First? (Attorney Role in Divorce Strategy & Legal Protection)

An attorney protects your interests by advising on timing, strategy, and what information to gather. They explain the difference between no-fault and fault-based divorce, contested versus uncontested processes, and litigation versus mediation. They discuss residency requirements, waiting periods (in Michigan, 60 days without children, 180 days with children), and property division rules.

Most importantly, your attorney advises when to tell your spouse. Telling your spouse before consulting an attorney gives them time to move assets, hide information, or position themselves with your children—all of which hurts your case.

What Should I Expect in My First Consultation? (Initial Divorce Consultation Process & What Attorneys Discuss)

Your attorney asks questions about your marriage, children, assets, debts, and your goals. They explain the divorce process, timeline, and costs. They discuss what happens in court and what outcomes to expect. You provide basic information, and they explain the next steps.

Most initial consultations last 30-60 minutes. Many attorneys offer free or low-cost first consultations. Come prepared with questions and basic financial information.

What to Ask Your Divorce Attorney:

– What is the typical timeline for divorce in my county?
– What are the costs, and how are you paid (flat fee vs. hourly)?
– What is my jurisdiction’s property division standard?
– How is child support calculated?
– When should I tell my spouse?
– What documents should I gather before filing?
– What are my custody options?
– What is your experience with cases like mine?

Key steps regarding attorney consultation:

– Consult an attorney before telling your spouse about divorce
– Research attorney qualifications (Super Lawyers, AVVO, Best Lawyers, bar standing)
– Consider experience, communication style, and fees
– Don’t hire the cheapest—hire the best fit
– Many offer a free initial consultation
– Consultation is confidential and attorney-client privileged
– Attorney advises on residency requirements and jurisdiction-specific law
– The attorney can discuss all divorce options and likely outcomes

What Documents Should I Gather? (Financial Records, Marital Property & Assets Checklist)

Your attorney will ask for financial documents. Gathering these early accelerates the process and demonstrates you’re organized and serious.

Which Financial Documents Will I Need? (Bank Statements, Tax Returns, Investment Account Records & Debt Documentation)

Bank Accounts: Statements from all checking, savings, and money market accounts (last 2-3 months)
Credit Cards: Statements from all credit cards (last 3 months)
Investments: Brokerage statements, mutual funds, stocks, bonds
Retirement Accounts: 401(k), IRA, pension statements
Real Estate: Deed to your home, mortgage documents, property tax assessments
Vehicles: Car titles, loan documents, insurance information
Debts: Credit card statements, personal loans, medical debt, student loans
Income: Recent tax returns (last 2-3 years), W-2s, pay stubs

Which Family and Legal Documents Do I Need? (Marriage Certificate, Birth Certificates, Prenuptial Agreements & Custody Orders)

• Marriage Certificate
• Birth Certificates (for children)
• Child Medical Records
• School Records
• Custody Agreements (if from previous relationship)
• Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreement (if applicable)

What to do with documents:

– Make copies (keep originals safe)
– Organize chronologically or by category
– Don’t share originals with spouse without consulting attorney
– Create a spreadsheet listing assets, debts, and account numbers
– Include approximate values where known
– Gather 2-3 years of tax returns and financial statements

What Are My Divorce Options? (No-Fault Divorce, Uncontested vs. Contested, Mediation & Litigation)

You have choices about how to divorce. Understanding these options helps you plan a strategy and costs.

Should I Choose No-Fault or Fault-Based Divorce? (Irretrievable Breakdown vs. Fault Grounds for Divorce)

Most states, including Michigan, allow no-fault divorce, where you don’t need to prove wrongdoing—just irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. Fault-based divorce requires proving infidelity, abandonment, or abuse. No-fault is usually faster and less expensive.

What’s the Difference Between Uncontested and Contested Divorce? (Agreement vs. Dispute in Divorce Proceedings)

Uncontested:

You and your spouse agree on all issues (property division, custody, support). This is the fastest (3-6 months) and least expensive ($600-$1,500 in fees).

Contested:

You disagree on one or more major issues. The court must intervene. This takes longer (6-12+ months) and costs more ($5,000-$15,000+).

How Do Litigation, Mediation, and Collaborative Divorce Differ? (Court-Driven vs. Negotiated Divorce Resolution Methods)

Litigation:

A traditional court process where a judge decides contested issues. Most expensive and adversarial.

Mediation:

A neutral third party helps you negotiate. Less expensive, faster, more cooperative.

Collaborative Divorce:

Both parties commit to solving issues outside court with a professional team (attorneys, mediators, financial advisors).

Choose your divorce path by:

– Discussing options with your attorney
– Assessing your spouse’s willingness to cooperate
– Considering your assets’ complexity
– Evaluating whether children’s custody is disputed
– Understanding your financial resources and timeline

How Should I Create My Financial Picture? (Marital Asset Inventory & Post-Divorce Budget Planning)

Understanding your financial situation guides support calculations and what you can afford post-divorce.

How Do I Inventory My Assets and Debts? (Marital Property Identification, Asset Valuation & Debt Assignment)

List everything: home value, vehicles, bank accounts, investments, retirement accounts, personal property. Estimate values. Identify which assets are marital property (acquired during marriage, typically divided) versus separate property (owned before marriage, typically kept).

List all debts: mortgages, car loans, credit cards, student loans. Understand who’s responsible for each.

How Should I Calculate My Post-Divorce Budget? (Living Expenses, Support Obligations & Financial Sustainability)

Project your expenses after divorce: housing, utilities, food, childcare, health insurance, transportation, and childcare support. Will you need spousal support to maintain your standard of living? How much child support might you owe or receive (Michigan uses a standardized formula)?

Understanding this helps you negotiate fairly and understand what you can actually afford.

Financial planning steps:

– Inventory all assets and debts
– Estimate home value and equity
– List all investment and retirement accounts
– Calculate post-divorce living expenses
– Understand spousal support implications
– Calculate child support using the Michigan formula (if applicable)
– Determine the emergency fund needed before the divorce starts
– Project 1-3 years post-divorce finances

What About My Living Situation and Custody? (Parenting Plan, Child Custody Arrangements & Housing Implications)

Should you move out? This decision affects custody and property division claims.

Should I Move Out Before Filing for Divorce? (Housing Decision, Custody Implications & Legal Strategy)

Generally, don’t move out without consulting your attorney first. Moving out can negatively affect custody claims. Courts view remaining in the home as demonstrating parental engagement. However, your safety always comes first. If you’re unsafe, move and tell your attorney immediately.

If you have children, develop a preliminary parenting plan outlining custody, parenting time, and child support before filing. This shows the court you’re planning responsibly.

How Do I Consider Housing Implications? (Home Ownership, Mortgage Responsibility & Post-Divorce Housing)

Will you keep the home or sell it? Can you afford the mortgage alone? Is refinancing necessary? Do you have somewhere to go if you need to leave? These questions affect your timeline and costs.

Living situation considerations:

– Consult an attorney before moving out
– Understand the custody implications of moving
– Safety is a priority if domestic violence exists
– Develop a preliminary parenting plan if you have children
– Consider home affordability post-divorce
– Discuss housing strategy with attorney
– Don’t abandon the home without legal advice
– Document any safety concerns if present

How Do I Protect My Privacy and Finances? (Digital Security, Bank Account Separation & Asset Protection)

Protect yourself while being fair. Don’t hide assets—that’s illegal. Instead, take reasonable precautions.

How Should I Secure My Digital Information? (Password Protection, Device Security & Digital Privacy)

Change passwords on email, bank accounts, and investment accounts (use different passwords for each). Enable two-factor authentication. Secure your phone and computer. Understand what information your spouse may access.

Should I Open a Separate Bank Account? (Financial Independence, Account Protection & Money Management)

Open a new bank account in your name only at a different bank. This protects your personal income and provides safety if your spouse empties joint accounts (though this is legally risky for them once divorce is filed).

Privacy and security steps:

– Change passwords on all accounts
– Enable two-factor authentication
– Open a separate bank account in your name
– Monitor credit reports regularly
– Document all assets and their locations
– Photograph valuable items
– Secure important documents
– Protect digital privacy and devices
– Don’t hide assets (this is illegal)

Do I Need Emotional Support? (Therapy, Financial Advisors & Personal Support System)

Divorce is emotionally draining. Building a support system helps you navigate stress, make clear decisions, and model healthy coping for children.

Consider therapy or counseling to process emotions and develop coping strategies. A financial advisor can help plan your post-divorce finances. Lean on family and friends for emotional support.

Building your support system:

– Find a therapist or counselor experienced in divorce
– Consider hiring a financial advisor
– Lean on trusted family and friends
– Join divorce support groups
– Prioritize self-care and mental health
– Avoid making major decisions while emotionally overwhelmed
– Take care of your physical health

When Should I Have the Conversation? (Spouse Communication, Telling Your Spouse About Divorce & Safety Planning)

Once your attorney advises it’s the right time, have this conversation thoughtfully.

When Is the Right Time to Tell My Spouse? (Timing Strategy, Attorney Guidance & Preparation)

Don’t tell your spouse until you’ve consulted an attorney, understand the financial picture, gathered documents, and feel emotionally prepared. If you’re considering a divorce, that ship has sailed. It’s always advocated to have a close and intimate relationship wth your spouse, but if you’re strongly considering divorce, that usually means you’ve exhausted all means possible to reconcile the relationship. Have the conversation when calm, in private, without interruptions. Be honest and direct: “Our marriage has broken down. I’ve decided to file for divorce. I’d like to work this out fairly.” Avoid blame, accusations, or anger. This sets a cooperative tone.

What Should I Avoid Saying? (Communication Mistakes, Harmful Statements & Legal Consequences)

If you fear your safety, consult an attorney about safety planning or consider having the conversation in a public place with a support person present.

Avoid saying things like:

– “You’re a terrible parent”
– “I’m taking everything.”
– Threats or ultimatums
– Blame or accusations
– Angry or cruel comments

These statements come back to haunt you in court.

Immediate Action Checklist (First Steps to Divorce & Pre-Filing Preparation)

TODAY/TOMORROW:

– [ ] Research and call divorce attorneys (schedule free consultation)
– [ ] Write down questions for your consultation
– [ ] Locate important documents

THIS WEEK:

– [ ] Attend attorney consultation
– [ ] Make copies of financial documents
– [ ] Gather asset and debt information
– [ ] Open separate bank account

THIS MONTH:

– [ ] Organize all documents
– [ ] Create post-divorce budget
– [ ] List all assets and debts
– [ ] Find a therapist
– [ ] Research divorce options
– [ ] Protect digital information

BEFORE FILING:

– [ ] Complete document gathering
– [ ] Develop preliminary parenting plan (if children)
– [ ] Plan spouse conversation with attorney
– [ ] Save emergency fund
– [ ] Confirm you’re ready to proceed

Common Questions About First Steps (FAQ: Divorce Preparation, Timeline & Costs)

Should I tell my spouse before or after consulting an attorney?

Consult an attorney FIRST. An attorney advises on the best timing and strategy for your specific situation. Telling your spouse before getting legal advice can hurt your case.

Do I need to move out before filing for divorce?

No, and you shouldn’t without consulting your attorney first. Moving out can negatively affect custody and property division claims. Discuss this decision with your attorney.

How much will my divorce cost?

Costs vary widely. Uncontested divorces typically cost much less in attorney fees. Contested divorces can cost $5,000-$15,000, or more, depending on how complex the case is and how litigious the parties become. Discuss fees with your attorney upfront.

Can I represent myself to save money?

You can represent yourself (pro se), but it’s rarely advisable. Mistakes in paperwork or procedure can cost you thousands later. Attorney fees usually prevent more expensive mistakes.

How long does a divorce take in Michigan?

Uncontested divorces typically take 3-6 months. Contested divorces take 6-12 months or longer. Michigan requires waiting periods: 60 days without children, 180 days with children. You read about the divorce timeline here. 

Should I cancel joint accounts or credit cards?

No. Consult your attorney first. Closing accounts without agreement can look like you’re hiding money. Your attorney advises on the right steps.

What if I’m not sure I want to go through with divorce?

That’s normal. Consulting an attorney helps you understand your options and what divorce means. You don’t have to proceed just because you consult.

Take Your First Step Today: Schedule a Free Consultation | (248) 825-8042

You now understand what comes first. The next step is simple: consult a divorce attorney who understands Michigan law, your county’s court system, and how to guide you efficiently through this process.

Hermiz Law can help. Attorney Madana Hermiz, a Super Lawyers-recognized family law attorney with 14 years of experience, helps families throughout Michigan take their first steps toward divorce confidently. We understand Michigan’s no-fault divorce system, waiting periods, property division rules, and custody standards. We explain your options clearly and help you avoid costly mistakes.

Your consultations are always confidential. We answer your questions, explain what to expect, and help you understand your next steps—with no pressure or obligation. Call us today, (248) 825-8042.

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